The Journey of 28 Days

Here we are again. I thought after the way I talked to you last month that we’d start off fresh, that things would be different this time. I figured after our heart to heart that you would agree to take a nine month vacation. Obviously I’ve been a fool to assume. It’s not that I don’t want to see you entirely. In fact, you give me some hope that my body is somewhat doing what it is supposed to. I’d just rather see you later. You see I had plans, hopes, and desire’s to be fulfilled this month. But you came and forced me to trade my hope for disappointment. Your presence reminds me that my plans have failed and my desire has been delayed. For the past 2 weeks I believed this month was different. In fact, I have even taken several pregnancy tests to confirm my suspicion. I was careful this time to monitor my body for signs and accurately calculate the days of ovulation. I have even watched my diet and made sure to get plenty of rest. So where did I miss the mark? What did I do wrong? This emotional roller coaster only ends in my frustration and sadness. If you could only comprehend the heartache I feel when you alert me that you are on the way. Maybe then you would take that vacation that we talked about.

On second thought, maybe I am glad you’re here. Although you represent the end of my 28 day journey, you also represent the beginning of a new one. I have another chance!

I’m dusting off my knees and wiping my tears. I’ve given myself permission to cry and grieve my disappointment. This month things will be different. Come what may, I have decided to walk in victory. I chose to believe that God is for me and has good plans for my life. He makes all things beautiful in its time and I know that regardless of the outcome, this too, my 28 journey will be beautiful.

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us (Romans 8:37

Donate-Waiting Hearts Foundation

Waiting Hearts Foundation is a non-profit organization that strives to break the silence and bring awareness to infertility so no one suffers in silence.

In 2003, more than 48,000 babies were born in the U.S. as a result of assisted reproductive technology or ART, according to the CDC. That’s an increase of more than 2,000 over 2002 and 7,000 more than in 2001. Today In the United States, more than 440 clinics provide services to patients seeking to overcome infertility.

Waiting Hearts Foundation operates in direct response to the this growing number of individuals.

When you donate, you are helping us provide scholarships to individuals currently undergoing assisted reproductive therapy including IUI, IVF, egg donation and surrogacy. Scholarships are also awarded to individuals actively in the adoption process.

Give the gift of life but donating today!

A Childless Father’s Day

Father’s Day for the infertile couple is oftentimes not a time of celebration. It can actually be the opposite, a time of mourning. While Mother’s Day seems to be a sort of dreaded holiday with those struggling with infertility, I think Father’s Day is often forgotten. This may be because many people associate infertility as being a women’s problem although that idea is completely false. It affects men just as much as women, although it’s not always expressed the same way. In fact the Center for Disease control estimates approximately 3.3–4.7 million men have received an infertile diagnosis.

Remember you are in this fight together and you need each other more than ever on days like this when you feel like outsiders. Separation and division at vulnerable times can be detrimental to your marriage. Father’s Day was a reminder that “something” was wrong with me.  I took ownership of “our” situation. In fact, I blamed myself for not being able to give my husband the child I knew he wanted. Its okay to spend time with family members at other times during that weekend. Which may not be a bad idea since you may run into the dreaded, ” When are you going to start a family” question. YIKES!

You are going through a difficult time, don’t force yourself into situations that will leave you struggling to manage difficult emotions. Going out to eat was the worst! I found it extremely difficult to face the many emotional issues raised by infertility at a time when everyone is celebrating  fatherhood. My heart seemed to break each time I saw a baby or small child.  It took me a while to realize that my family wasn’t being mean by asking that question. They were actually excited about the possibility.

My husband was not yet a father but he was one at heart! I encourage you this Father’s Day to celebrate the man you married.

Father, thank you for your grace that is sufficient in our lives. Thank you for your son Jesus Christ who made it possible for us to bring our burdens to you. I ask you to cloth each waiting heart this Father’s day in your peace, strength and love. Remind them that you bore every one of our weaknesses on the cross. Fill their hearts with hope as they wait on your promise to be fulfilled in their lives. You are the hope of glory and we thank you! Amen

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Welcome!

Welcome!

This blog was designed to inspire, empower and educate as you tread sometimes very fearful territory with infertility. Infertility is devastating to say the least, NO ONE SHOULD SUFFER ALONE!

In 2009 I was told that I had less a 5% chance of ever conceiving a child naturally. I was devastated. I felt defeated, caught off guard and flat out heartbroken. The news left me thinking I was alone and that not even my husband could help me, although he was my greatest supporter. I struggled with confidence and self-esteem which negatively impacted my marriage. Going through the process I began journaling my prayers and feelings as a coping mechanism. These journal entries later turned into Waiting on the Lord, 4 years later. It is now available and can be ordered online at amazon.com or tatepublishing.com.

Waiting on the Lord uses a biblical approach to support those with overcoming the devastating discovery of infertility. Life, healing and victory exist during infertility. After reading this book, I hope readers find peace and hope in God’s word and learn to patiently wait on the fulfillment of His promises. Infertility will no longer have to be a tabooed subject amongst family and friends. Trusting in the Lord will give readers the confidence to openly discuss their hopes for a family with close friends and relatives. And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God – Luke 18: 27

In 2013, I became pregnant, naturally, and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I knew then, that my process of coping with infertility was to go back and help others.

As the Executive Director of Waiting Hearts Foundation, I am committed to breaking the silence and bringing awareness to the national health issue of infertility. In addition, our objective is to inspire hope, joy and strength through spiritual connection, welcome and support all people so no one suffers in silence or feel isolated, build self-confidence through support, and contribute to health and well-being through education.

In His Service,

Shayla Taylor